But that inequality was so alien to how I was raised that I felt tremendous guilt about it and never told a soul about my desires. The guilt, however great, never stopped me from fantasizing. If I was going to turn over a new leaf, and try to be open and truly honest with my potential partners, I needed to acknowledge this part of me. Let it out, and learn how to engage it.Suddenly I realized what was so terrifying about being myself. I was petrified about letting the dominant part of me out. What if they thought I was sick. What if they laughed. Worst of all, what if I hurt somebody? Jesus. That would destroy me.But I was stuck on the horns of a dilemma. I couldn't go back to how I was, that way led nowhere, so I could only go forward, but I didn't know how to make a first step.I was contemplating that when Anna called. I hadn't realized it'd gotten so late. I hadn't eaten anything or moved from the table where Jenny sat down hours ago. Anna's suggestion of take out and movies. He began kissing her soft skin, eliciting moans and soft cooing sounds from her throat. Amy started to shake in anticipation. ‘Easy now,’ he said. ‘We’re not in a hurry this time. Remember, it’s always better when it takes longer.’ ‘Really?’ Amy replied in wonder. ‘Almost,’ he said. ‘The first time… well the first time doesn’t count. After all we were both so excited we could hardly stand… and that’s intense pressure, so it goes without saying both of us were in a hurry to get it over with. After that… well it’s just better to go easy and let things build to a more natural conclusion.’ ‘So that’s what you call it, a conclusion?’ She said, smirking. ‘No, I call it fucking, or fornicating, of the nasty deed… whatever, but it ain’t the same as the first time.’ ‘Ain’t?’ she repeated his word teasing him. ‘Yeah, ain’t. So what, now shall we get started? Look what’s up and waiting for you.’ He said, indicating his cock, which was jutted up against his stomach. ‘Can’t keep a good man.
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